Nervous Much?

Warning: This post may be construed as a pity party, woe is me type of post. If you don't want to read about what goes through my head all day, exit now.

I don't want to sound like my life sucks, because it really doesn't. In fact, some people would kill to have the kind of life I have. My parents are married, and have been for nearly 30 years now. I am getting married in 19 days to a wonderful man who treats me like a queen. I live at home rent free (for now, at least) and I work part time at a craft store that I have shopped at for most of my life.

The things that are bothering me right now are that my fiance doesn't have his own car, and works way on the north side of town, whereas I live and work on the south side. For the time being, since we can't afford our own place, we are going to have to stay at my parents' place, along with my brother, his girlfriend, and his best friend. By the time we are married, my parents are going to charge us rent to live there, and I wonder to myself, how are we going to save up for our own place if we are paying rent to my folks? But that's a small concern for right now, I suppose.

Kevin will have to move his things here, into my cramped square shaped room that is already overflowing with all my things. Did I mention I'm a borderline hoarder? I can't bear to throw anything away that could end up being useful down the line. Not only does he have to move down here to the south side with no reliable transportation, his allergies are very bad and we will be sharing our room with my two cats as well. It gets to the point where he can't breathe through his nose at all when he's been at my house for a few hours at a time.

I wanted him to try to get a transfer to the south side location of where he works now, but his manager says it's highly unlikely that that will happen because the south side location is fully staffed now. So, once he lives down here, how is he going to get to work? Take the bus?

Lord only knows how long it will be before we actually get our own place. With my car payment, loans, and other monthly expenses, an apartment, even just a small one bedroom is looking like a pipe dream. Believe me, I'm not asking for pity because I know how much worse it is for other people, but sometimes you just have to vent, even electronically I suppose.

Other things on my mind are my new job. Most of the important payroll information and scheduling information is now online through websites. You have to have a log in and password for three separate sites. I love this idea because I think it's great to be able to access your work information from home any time of the day or night, but right now, I am having issues with the technology and I am worried about how to fix it. Also, I didn't get to put in my direct deposit information like I was supposed to and now I don't know if I will have the option anymore. I read in the handbook that if you don't sign up for the direct deposit or the debit pay card, you will receive your check by mail and it will take longer.

Basically, I just want to get things squared away and be able to have direct deposit and not have to worry about cashing the check or going to the bank to have to deposit it myself if I have the option of it being automatically done for me. I will have to talk to the people at work about figuring this out. I hope they don't get upset with me and tell me that there is nothing they can do about it. Cut me some slack; I'm brand new, and I haven't worked in a year. Things get a little rusty.

I know I will bounce back and that all these minute worries will fade away once we are married and get into a routine. It just means figuring out who will drive each other to work and trying to save up to get an apartment, pay on my loans, and resume my car payments, which my father has graciously been paying since May when I ran out of money after leaving my job the previous October.

I know these are the kinds of worries that a lot of couples have, as well as many other more severe worries. Mine seem so elementary in comparison sometimes, but they are always on my mind night and day and have caused me to lose focus on other things because I am too busy thinking about the future and how to get through it. I really feel like I need something to combat this horrible anxiety and to get these butterflies out of my tummy because I am just going to worry myself sick and I really don't need that now. Or ever for that matter.